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BBW Dating: A One Week Plan to Prepare for Romance
By Stephanie Dray

If you're a single BBW, it's time to get back out there into the dating world. You know it's time to stop living a Life-In-Waiting, but maybe you're not sure where to begin when it comes to dating and romance. There are a lot of options, like going out more, looking for online romance, or registering with dating services.

But the real place to start might surprise you: begin with Big Beautiful You!

I'm not talking about waiting to start dating until you've lost those pounds or until you've finally balanced your checkbook. That'd be like waiting to cook dinner until after you've purchased the perfect ice-maker.

No, I'm talking about doing a week-long dating self-inventory. I'm talking about starting from the inside, knowing yourself as a single woman, and knowing what you really want out of a relationship. In short, I'm talking about opening yourself up to a life that embraces Mr. or Mrs. Right. And it all starts with a smile.

1. Yes, Smile. That's your task for Monday. Smile all day long, at everyone you meet. Smile even if you don't feel like it. Smile when you pick up the phone. Smile at the people in the checkout isle of the grocery store. Smile at the mail carrier. Smile at your cat. Smiling is a way of telling other people that you're receptive to them, receptive to meeting others, and receptive to life. It also releases chemicals in your brain that tell you the same thing. Receptive people find it easier to get dates.

2. Keep Smiling, and Tell Everybody. Tuesday is "Tell Everybody" day. If you're truly open to dating, you have to let everyone know. Call, email, send letters. Tell every friend you have that you're ready to start dating, and ask them if they know anyone who might interest you. If they don't, ask them to ask their friends. This is what we call a leap of faith. An attitude change isn't real until we share it with someone else. Once you've gotten the word out, it will be harder to chicken out.

3. Make a List of Dates You'd Like To Go On. For Wednesday, get out a sheet of paper and write down five dates you'd like to go on in the next year. Maybe you'd like to go on a picnic. Maybe you'd like to go out to dinner at a particular restaurant. Perhaps taking a tour of the local zoo is more your cup of tea. Or perhaps tea is your cup of tea, and you know of a local tea house. Whatever you fancy, write it down. Envision yourself going there on a date. Now you've got a list ready if someone asks 'What do you want to do?' And don't forget to keep smiling.

4. Pick out Outfits. Thursday evening, make a date with your closet. Go through your wardrobe and write down outfits that you'd wear to each of the potential dates you listed yesterday. If you'd like to go to the opera, and you don't have a ball gown, don't panic. The opera is one of those dates that everyone is expected to fret over. But otherwise, don't allow clothing to be an excuse to avoid going out. Too many women turn down dates because they can't imagine what they'd wear. And BBWs, with their additional difficulties shopping for clothing, are just as guilty of this as anyone. With a handy list of outfits ready, you won't have that excuse.

5. Join a New Club. Fridays shouldn't be spent alone, and single women need as many friends as they can get. Pick a new club that interests you. Perhaps you're interested in politics--find a way to hook up with a local chapter of your party. Perhaps you'd like to be a better speaker; join the local toastmaster group. If your interests are primarily those that appeal to women, and you're looking for a member of the opposite sex to sweep you off your feet, don't worry. All those ladies at your new club likely have brothers and sons they can fix you up on dates with. Do what you love and the dating will come.

6. Make an Online Profile at Myspace or Friendster. Saturday you should have the time to sit down and make a profile on a social networking site. The benefits of doing this are two-fold. First, it will help you meet new people, often in your area. Second, it will force you to answer questions about yourself. By thinking hard about your own interests, your own strengths, and how you want to introduce yourself as a Big Beautiful Woman to the dating world, this will help prepare you for other opportunities down the road, such as dating services or classified ads. Invite a friend over and have her take lots of pictures of you so that you can put one up on your profile that flatters you. Digital cameras are great for this. Really think about who you are as a person and what you want for yourself, and from a partner.

7. Clean your Bedroom. Seriously. Clean your bedroom. Sunday is an opportunity for you to start your new week fresh with a romantic retreat in your own house that will make you feel sexy and energized. Knowing that you have a bedroom to take someone back to, if the mood should strike you, will help open you up to new possibilities, even if you think you're not that kind of girl. Besides, your bedroom is likely where you'll get ready to go on a date. It should be clean and organized so that you won't be stressed when you're getting ready. A clean bedroom will also give you a chance for peaceful reflection on the journey you're about to embark upon.

One week later, and you're ready to start going on dates, registering with dating services, and finding romance. You've prepared yourself, in an out. You're a Big Beautiful Woman ready to take on the world. So breathe in deep, smile, and jump back into the single's scene.

Stephanie Dray is the author of Curvalicious and Living Large, a for plus sized women interested in fashion and romance.

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